Wednesday, February 18, 2015
Ornery lil' Ruby...
Friday, January 23, 2015
Remember why you started in the first place...
I sat down this morning to blog about cute things my kids have said and post pics of their kissable faces but instead I felt lead to write another type of post. So here goes!
It was a year ago last week when I started to radically change the way I ate and although at times it still isn't easy, it's always been worth it.
A year ago I'd been home from the hospital, recovering from the sepsis but still very much battling the ulcerative colitis. I'd seen a few GIs and they all ranged from opinions of harsh medications to talking complete removal of my large intestine. To keep me "stable" I was pumped full of steroids and was trying to wean myself off of them. But like with anything, if you keep doing the same things, you'll keep getting the same results.
I had searched the internet and seen where people had relief from a "lifestyle" change but doctors always shook their heads and said it didn't matter. This was my new life. How depressing!
So, this little voice kept saying down deep how food could help but I didn't know anyone personally to share their story. Until one day on Facebook I got a message from a friend I went to high school with, asking to call her and she wanted to encourage me.
When I called her, I had no idea how much life would open up. Not only would she share the fact she too was diagnosed with ulcerative colitis but that she too found relief and ultimately remission with diet.
Wow! That was a changing day for me. January 16, 2014 I kissed all processed food goodbye and with the help of my mom completely started all over in the kitchen. Then I learned of Danielle Walker and her journey with UC and her cookbook, against all grain.
Suddenly, there was hope again.
Shortly after that I went to see a chiropractor naturopath at a wellness center. Boy, I can't believe I just typed that. I worked in the medical industry for a while before having kiddos and there is NO way I would have ever went a "holistic" route before but it's been the best decision ever. Trust me, I still love doctors and appreciate and respect them very much. But have learned for some things, like chronic, there are other ways for treatment.
Suddenly I couldn't find enough information fast enough.
A year later and I still feel that way.
Our family has found a new normal, the UC is not in remission but we are getting there, every single day.
I have hope that one day I will be.
I literally just knelt down and had Porter snap this picture of me as I'm typing this post. This is me one year later. We've learned so much this year. It's hard to type this post in brief but I could go on and on and on.
I still struggle. I still have hard days where I wish I could eat a dairy queen blizzard and fake nacho cheese and chips just because I wanted to but I've learned a lot of how good it is to tell yourself NO and set boundaries. I've recreated a whole new routine for just about everything in my life. Every product I used to use I've researched and replaced from toothpaste to dish soap and detergent.
Sometimes the thought of changing can be overwhelming but when that happens I like to remind myself of a few things….
1. That one good choice usually leads to another one. Just keep making good choices. One choice at a time.
2. That God has FAR better plans for me than I could have ever dreamed for myself. Thank goodness He is in control and I am not.
3. Never once have I ever walked alone in this. Yes, my family has been the most supportive ever and embraced this with me. They are amazing. But it is God who has gone before me and I've never been alone. To be honest, that really took some time to embrace in the early months of "starting over".
"we can be full of joy here and now even in our trials and troubles. these very things will give us patient endurance. This in turn will develop a mature character, and a character of this sort produces steady hope, a hope that will not disappoint us."
romans 5:3-5
if there is something you are wanting to reach for today, go ahead and do it! The time is going to pass anyway…try try try. And if you fall, get up and try again.
Sunday, January 04, 2015
Ta-da! I'm back!!!!!
After an amazingly tough year and a few months of dead silence, I am back to writing on the whole bloggity blog! And look at the kiddos….holy moly they are getting so big!
I'm sure if anyone reads this blog, you are family so you already know that WE'VE MOVED!
Yup, we relocated back to Indiana and are pretty much settled in our house. It really is feeling like home…it's just that there is so much potential we see here and are currently making lots of lists in ways to update and personalize it to our taste.
Our family has lots of birthdays at the end of the year:
Porter turned 4
Our baby girl turned turned ONE
The view out of our new house. SO nice to not see rooftop after rooftop. We really do feel so thankful to be where we are.
Kit celebrated his birthday first in the new house
and then me
and then Henry turned the big 6!
and after all the guests left we celebrated one year since sepsis for me!!
and Henry had his Christmas program that was adorable. And this picture pretty much sums up my beautiful, crazy, chaotic life.
I'll be back to write more soon! I have lots more updates to do!
Hope everyone is having a great start to the new year.
Thursday, August 14, 2014
Wednesday, August 13, 2014
Tuesday, August 05, 2014
Houston Staycation
Long story short, the Wx came for the majority of the week instead of a quick weekend trip and we are so glad they did! It was such a fun week still enjoying the summer and it pretty much seemed like a stay cation for us! Smiles all around. We got to go to the Space Museum and spent lots of time at the pool with cousins before Sunday when, as Wells would say, "Toooooooooooodd" competed in a triathlon that our neighborhood hosted. It was such a fun week and now all that is left is laundry! always! haha!
Wells & Ruby had their 2yr and 9mo checks this morning.
Wells::
36 5/8" Height (92 percentile)
27 lbs 14.5 ounces Weight (30 percentile)
39 Percentile Head circumference
Ruby::
28" Height (46 percentile)
17 lbs 8.2 ounces Weight (30 percentile)
22 Percentile Head circumference
Praising God for happy, healthy & whole kids! Feeling super thankful & blessed today.
Saturday, July 26, 2014
Mama + Mini
Tonight I finally decided enough was enough! It was time for pictures with me & my best girl. I remember being so upset in the hospital that I didn't have any pictures of me & Ruby. Then, I felt like I'd never get off those steroids and look like myself. So thankful we are on this side now. So, I did what any girl would do and hired my hubby!! I think he did a fabulous job and thanks to Tate for editing the last picture for us…might be my favorite with the 4th one down a tie or close second!! What's your favorite?
Thursday, July 24, 2014
Good Morning, Hope. It's a new day!
Hope Renewed. Hope Refreshed.
No longer Hope deferred.
relaxing
refreshing
redeeming
relational
Going to Indiana and packing for a family of 6 was hard. It was work to think and physically get it all in order so we could travel organized, be prepared for a quick over night stay and to think about what we'd need on our vacation within a vacation. But you know what?
It was WORTH. IT.
I can do hard things.
We had such a wonderful time. Scratch that. AMAZING.
It was just the "busy break" we needed. It kept us busy in a good way. Not in an i-am-exhausted-and-this-is-draining-me. But instead it was a this-is-wonderful-to-see-so-many-people-who-prayed-for-us-encourage-us. community. wonderful. Life spoken to my soul. I feel better than ever lately.
In fact. I had this theory that I wouldn't run bc I wanted to fully "heal" up. Instead lately, I've been dreaming about running, so I've started doing it again. I think running will continue to help me to "heal". Like this morning while cooking in the kitchen and prepping for supper, all I could think about was pounding that pavement again tonight when Kit can watch the kiddos. That keeps my mind focused on good things instead of second guessing every little twinge and ache. That is no way to live.
The bigs have been going to Lego Camp this week and it has been so nice. Ruby sleeps the whole time they are gone for her morning nap so it's just me & the Dubs. He has been battling a little tummy virus so it's been great to be able to focus just on him and cuddle all he wants. Much needed for both of us.
I woke up alive today. I'm able to eat good food & we have a beautiful life.
SO blessed.
Loving this quote I read the other day. This is what Thomas Edison said after his laboratory burnt to the ground…
"There is great value in disaster. All our mistakes are burned up. Thank God we can start anew."
Have a great Thursday, Friends!
No longer Hope deferred.
relaxing
refreshing
redeeming
relational
Going to Indiana and packing for a family of 6 was hard. It was work to think and physically get it all in order so we could travel organized, be prepared for a quick over night stay and to think about what we'd need on our vacation within a vacation. But you know what?
It was WORTH. IT.
I can do hard things.
We had such a wonderful time. Scratch that. AMAZING.
It was just the "busy break" we needed. It kept us busy in a good way. Not in an i-am-exhausted-and-this-is-draining-me. But instead it was a this-is-wonderful-to-see-so-many-people-who-prayed-for-us-encourage-us. community. wonderful. Life spoken to my soul. I feel better than ever lately.
In fact. I had this theory that I wouldn't run bc I wanted to fully "heal" up. Instead lately, I've been dreaming about running, so I've started doing it again. I think running will continue to help me to "heal". Like this morning while cooking in the kitchen and prepping for supper, all I could think about was pounding that pavement again tonight when Kit can watch the kiddos. That keeps my mind focused on good things instead of second guessing every little twinge and ache. That is no way to live.
The bigs have been going to Lego Camp this week and it has been so nice. Ruby sleeps the whole time they are gone for her morning nap so it's just me & the Dubs. He has been battling a little tummy virus so it's been great to be able to focus just on him and cuddle all he wants. Much needed for both of us.
I woke up alive today. I'm able to eat good food & we have a beautiful life.
SO blessed.
Loving this quote I read the other day. This is what Thomas Edison said after his laboratory burnt to the ground…
"There is great value in disaster. All our mistakes are burned up. Thank God we can start anew."
Have a great Thursday, Friends!
Tuesday, June 17, 2014
Life Lately…an HONEST approach.
I posted a few pictures below of Father's Day. What can I say about Father's Day? Kit is an amazing father. There are some men that our just natural born fathers. He is one of them. But the day itself?hmmm. It was an epic fail I would say as far as the fact we are slap WORE. OUT. there were no gifts, there wasn't much rest and trying to get a picture of our children with their father was a dramatic ordeal. Kit went grocery shopping at 9pm on Sunday night. Happy Father's day, babe :/.
This season. This season of life is messy, and dirty…and sticky. We are in over our heads.
I told my husband the other night I just needed a break. How did I know that? Because my kids don't even look cute to me. I know I'm biased but I think they are the most beautiful children…. until you tell them 1,078 times not to do the thing you told them not to do….five minutes ago…for months on end. Right now, they just aren't all that cute to me.
I feel as tho I keep telling everyone "I need a break" and I get the old rub your back and pat your head and tell you to enjoy these moments because the years fly by. The years DO fly by. It's the days that are so stinking long at times.
Let me just recap. I've needed a break for 2 years. Wells' birth just about did me in. Then shortly after he was born I had to have surgery to retrieve an IUD that perforated through my uterus. niiiiiice. Then, I begging for a break. But next…we got a job offer. So…we thought it would be a good direction to move, a little closer to some family and we grew to LOVE Georgia that I thought it would be the same with Texas. Right when I was coming around to the idea as the movers were packing up my house... I found out I was pregnant. areyoukiddingme?!?!?! So we bought the big house with enough bedrooms for all our kids with a couple of guest rooms for family to stay. Then, all I wanted to do was have this baby and move forward. Like really. FOUR…NO MORE.
Along came October and I was SO ready to deliver. And apparently so was my body. We arrived at the hospital and I was 9 cm and my water broke upon being wheeled to Labor and Delivery. I tried to breathe through 3 contractions while it was all hands on deck on the unit for them to start an IV and find the doctor on call. Little Miss Ruby Jane was born 11 minutes after arriving to the hospital. Beautiful, gorgeous, healthy & whole. The sugar & spice to our family of boys. The last addition to our family. There were no prouder parents that day at the hospital.
I sat in that bed after showering feeling so great and thinking I had finally made it. Life was about to slow down. Well, with 4 kids under 5 I knew it was going to speed up. But having babies and relocating and all that "mess" was over. Behind us. We were going to become like other "normal" families and "blend in" with society.
Only I wasn't "fine". 3 weeks later a colonoscopy would then diagnose me with Ulcerative Colitis. I saw several GI doctors, was put on harsh steroid medication and told to "lead a normal life". December I was exhausted with a newborn, 3 small children and a new community I still didn't really know.
A trip to the ER for what I was hoping would be a quick visit for an antibiotic would leave me fighting for my life with days in ICU and stumping doctors leaving them to call it all "viral" and "sepsis". I was there for about 2 weeks and I can't say I remember tons of details about.
OKAY. ARE YOU STILL WITH ME?!?!?
We've been in this trial now for while. Most times we are positive about it. But the other day….the clouds got so dark I couldn't see. That rain…turned to hail. And instead of taking a deep breath and praying about it? I called my husband to come home. NOW. Before momma snaps…I took my anxiety and selfish flesh with me and drove for quite a while…even did some shopping. Then finally got back in my truck. a QUIET…eerily quiet truck. and prayed. When you take time to quiet the chaos and the noise, the perspective that comes out of it is beautiful….
Like that husband. The one who drives the hour from his office to our home when he hears his wife on the other end with exhaustion and desperation in her voice. The one who has washed more bottles, conquered more bath times and does the bedtime routine better than I could even dream of doing.
Like those kids. They really ARE a blessing. I always said I wanted 4. Then I had 3 and was in over my head. DONE. But God did give us 4. It is such a gift that while we haven't had much "fun" lately. They do have each other and it is a blessing to have siblings to play with even on the days…many many days that we don't leave the house. And that little girl everyone always said I needed? Well, she has really brought JOY in the midst of rough times. And turns out girls are much different than boys. MUCH. It's not lost on me how thankful I am to have both boy & girl children. Some days I've had Henry pray over me. When your FIVE year old lays hands on you and prays with that sweet innocent voice, there is no way you can't be blessed. I can't wait to see how God uses my children! Just a glimpse makes me what to be him when I grow up.
God's whole foods. I've always been one of those people who have really wanted to be on this awesome all natural diet. Someone who could say no to sugar and carbs and processed food. But, those types of things only lasted about 36 hours on my own. BUT, when you have a disease that is directly related to foods you are fueling your body with…it's amazing what you can do. For FIVE months I've eaten nothing but 7 WHOLE foods and am just now beginning the very slow process of adding other whole foods back in. Chicken, Salmon, Chicken broth, green beans, carrots, bananas & sweet potatoes. that's it. THAT'S IT. thatsit. THAT IS IT. Breakfast, lunch, dinner, snacks. But you know what, after searching out all the options from harsh medications to surgery, I feel blessed to be able to do this. I clearly feel like this is the path he has placed me on. Remember that dream on just told you about wanting to eat clean for years? Turns out I'm doing it. And I have my colon as an accountability partner too ;). If it was easy…everyone would be doing it. Turns out it is hard work but I believe SO worth it.
That new town. I remember when we took the job in Houston. It's like I knew we weren't going to "love it" but it would be "necessary". Guess what. We AREN'T loving it. BUT, I do believe it is necessary. Fresh out of the airport on the way to our new home I remember driving by the hospital I would nearly die in 9 months later. I remember something in my spirit telling me I was going to have an "influence" there. In my naive thoughts…I thought that meant with my small medical knowledge and experience that I could somehow volunteer or work 1 day a week or so. Little did I know it would mean giving God the glory to all the doctors and nurses at the hospital and all those weeks of followup in their office. I believe it was necessary to be somewhere where we knew not a soul so that we would completely have to pull in closer, lean into and give it all to God when we had no one. NO ONE.
I've since been directed to a Health & Wellness center and am really working on improving my immune system…not suppressing it. I'm getting ready to find out results on some extensive allergy testing too. I've learned so much about the body and nutrition. Medical stuff has always fascinated me so trying a "holistic" approach was something I had no interest in trying…until I didn't like what doctors were telling me so I felt God leading me this way. I'm so thankful. It's been incredible.
Those friends. Those friends that I always pray for while we move? Well, in Georgia they all came to me at once. Shortly after moving and I rarely felt lonely even when missing family at times. When we moved to Texas? I waited. AND waited. Turns out sometimes instead of waiting for a friend…you have to leave your house to find them. So I went one hot, humid day when my belly was huge, chasing after 3 small boys thinking how ridiculous I looked and how we should go back home. But then I felt God prompting me to talk to that woman at the end of the pool. the one with the same belly. And ya know what? She was having a GIRL too, due right when I was AND also didn't have any family in town. Pretty cool stuff because she has been the best friend to me in the last year. And ya know what else? Those other friends I was praying for? God brought them to my front door. with food. That's right. Never even knew us but they were willing to provide for our family. And even tho my friend circle in Texas is rather small. It's rich. It's more about quality than quantity, no? Over & over those women have blessed me.
I can't tell you how many times I've pulled up my blog to post something. I've never had a dream to be a writer, I've just always enjoyed keeping family updated. BUT, I haven't known what to say for months. Until God just recently laid it on my heart to write this out. This has been so beneficial for me to write it out and see God's hand working as I think into the recent past. But God has made it clear to me that this isn't just for me. Someone is needing a word. If it's anything I've learned it's just how much I could've died December 16, 2013 on Henry's 5th birthday. BUT. I didn't. He isn't finished with me yet. And unless it is your time to go, you aren't going anywhere no matter how bad things yet.
There is ALWAYS hope. I haven't always believed that, I haven't always seen that, but it is true. That doesn't mean my life is "easy" or even "clean" for that matter.
The days are still hard. This ulcerative colitis sucks. I wouldn't wish this on my worst enemy. But I have hope that it will go into remission. I have hope that while I'm eating whole foods, I am also healing my gut. And improving my health. It's already improved So so so much. I have hope that because someone shared their hopeful story of UC with diet, I will be a living testimony and can share for someone else to try it. AND WIN THE BATTLE. Because we are overcomers!
This quote was by far the greatest encouragement someone emailed to me after my second hospital stay. This spoke LIFE to me and continues to.
“God will not turn away from doing you good. He will keep on doing good. He doesn't do good to His children sometimes and bad to them other times. He keeps on doing good and He never will stop doing good for ten thousand ages of ages. When things are going bad that does not mean God has stopped doing good. It means He is shifting things around to get them in place for more good, if you will go on loving Him.”
― John Piper, Don't Waste Your Life
SO good, right?
I could go on and on and on. One verse that has kept me moving is, John 6:63, "It is the Spirit who gives life; the flesh profits nothing; the words that I have spoken to you are spirit and are life." LIFE. LIFE. LIFE. Think on that word. The devil can't speak LIFE. he speaks LIES. Lean into the only one true God that gives LIFE….abundantly!
I have hope that even tho that "break" I keep trying to get around here isn't coming…it doesn't mean that it won't. Someday my hubby & I will sneak away for a few days without kiddos. But for now He gives me everything I need for today. Even to rebuke those piles of laundry and dirty dishes in the sink that try to tell me I don't have it all together. Because I don't have it all together and I never will. That point A to point B mentality I love to live by, just won't do. It's a journey and if I hold my breath until the storm passes over, I will have passed out and missed little blessings along the way.
So if you feel like you need a break…stop what you are doing and talk to God about it. Then come on over to my toy filled, dusty, laundry piles everywhere home with your kiddos. I will not judge if they happen to be wearing the same clothes for the second day in a row, didn't get their bath last night and oh yeah, would you like something to eat? I can offer you chicken, salmon, green, beans, sweet potatoes and a banana! :)
This season. This season of life is messy, and dirty…and sticky. We are in over our heads.
I told my husband the other night I just needed a break. How did I know that? Because my kids don't even look cute to me. I know I'm biased but I think they are the most beautiful children…. until you tell them 1,078 times not to do the thing you told them not to do….five minutes ago…for months on end. Right now, they just aren't all that cute to me.
I feel as tho I keep telling everyone "I need a break" and I get the old rub your back and pat your head and tell you to enjoy these moments because the years fly by. The years DO fly by. It's the days that are so stinking long at times.
Let me just recap. I've needed a break for 2 years. Wells' birth just about did me in. Then shortly after he was born I had to have surgery to retrieve an IUD that perforated through my uterus. niiiiiice. Then, I begging for a break. But next…we got a job offer. So…we thought it would be a good direction to move, a little closer to some family and we grew to LOVE Georgia that I thought it would be the same with Texas. Right when I was coming around to the idea as the movers were packing up my house... I found out I was pregnant. areyoukiddingme?!?!?! So we bought the big house with enough bedrooms for all our kids with a couple of guest rooms for family to stay. Then, all I wanted to do was have this baby and move forward. Like really. FOUR…NO MORE.
Along came October and I was SO ready to deliver. And apparently so was my body. We arrived at the hospital and I was 9 cm and my water broke upon being wheeled to Labor and Delivery. I tried to breathe through 3 contractions while it was all hands on deck on the unit for them to start an IV and find the doctor on call. Little Miss Ruby Jane was born 11 minutes after arriving to the hospital. Beautiful, gorgeous, healthy & whole. The sugar & spice to our family of boys. The last addition to our family. There were no prouder parents that day at the hospital.
I sat in that bed after showering feeling so great and thinking I had finally made it. Life was about to slow down. Well, with 4 kids under 5 I knew it was going to speed up. But having babies and relocating and all that "mess" was over. Behind us. We were going to become like other "normal" families and "blend in" with society.
Only I wasn't "fine". 3 weeks later a colonoscopy would then diagnose me with Ulcerative Colitis. I saw several GI doctors, was put on harsh steroid medication and told to "lead a normal life". December I was exhausted with a newborn, 3 small children and a new community I still didn't really know.
A trip to the ER for what I was hoping would be a quick visit for an antibiotic would leave me fighting for my life with days in ICU and stumping doctors leaving them to call it all "viral" and "sepsis". I was there for about 2 weeks and I can't say I remember tons of details about.
OKAY. ARE YOU STILL WITH ME?!?!?
We've been in this trial now for while. Most times we are positive about it. But the other day….the clouds got so dark I couldn't see. That rain…turned to hail. And instead of taking a deep breath and praying about it? I called my husband to come home. NOW. Before momma snaps…I took my anxiety and selfish flesh with me and drove for quite a while…even did some shopping. Then finally got back in my truck. a QUIET…eerily quiet truck. and prayed. When you take time to quiet the chaos and the noise, the perspective that comes out of it is beautiful….
Like that husband. The one who drives the hour from his office to our home when he hears his wife on the other end with exhaustion and desperation in her voice. The one who has washed more bottles, conquered more bath times and does the bedtime routine better than I could even dream of doing.
Like those kids. They really ARE a blessing. I always said I wanted 4. Then I had 3 and was in over my head. DONE. But God did give us 4. It is such a gift that while we haven't had much "fun" lately. They do have each other and it is a blessing to have siblings to play with even on the days…many many days that we don't leave the house. And that little girl everyone always said I needed? Well, she has really brought JOY in the midst of rough times. And turns out girls are much different than boys. MUCH. It's not lost on me how thankful I am to have both boy & girl children. Some days I've had Henry pray over me. When your FIVE year old lays hands on you and prays with that sweet innocent voice, there is no way you can't be blessed. I can't wait to see how God uses my children! Just a glimpse makes me what to be him when I grow up.
God's whole foods. I've always been one of those people who have really wanted to be on this awesome all natural diet. Someone who could say no to sugar and carbs and processed food. But, those types of things only lasted about 36 hours on my own. BUT, when you have a disease that is directly related to foods you are fueling your body with…it's amazing what you can do. For FIVE months I've eaten nothing but 7 WHOLE foods and am just now beginning the very slow process of adding other whole foods back in. Chicken, Salmon, Chicken broth, green beans, carrots, bananas & sweet potatoes. that's it. THAT'S IT. thatsit. THAT IS IT. Breakfast, lunch, dinner, snacks. But you know what, after searching out all the options from harsh medications to surgery, I feel blessed to be able to do this. I clearly feel like this is the path he has placed me on. Remember that dream on just told you about wanting to eat clean for years? Turns out I'm doing it. And I have my colon as an accountability partner too ;). If it was easy…everyone would be doing it. Turns out it is hard work but I believe SO worth it.
That new town. I remember when we took the job in Houston. It's like I knew we weren't going to "love it" but it would be "necessary". Guess what. We AREN'T loving it. BUT, I do believe it is necessary. Fresh out of the airport on the way to our new home I remember driving by the hospital I would nearly die in 9 months later. I remember something in my spirit telling me I was going to have an "influence" there. In my naive thoughts…I thought that meant with my small medical knowledge and experience that I could somehow volunteer or work 1 day a week or so. Little did I know it would mean giving God the glory to all the doctors and nurses at the hospital and all those weeks of followup in their office. I believe it was necessary to be somewhere where we knew not a soul so that we would completely have to pull in closer, lean into and give it all to God when we had no one. NO ONE.
I've since been directed to a Health & Wellness center and am really working on improving my immune system…not suppressing it. I'm getting ready to find out results on some extensive allergy testing too. I've learned so much about the body and nutrition. Medical stuff has always fascinated me so trying a "holistic" approach was something I had no interest in trying…until I didn't like what doctors were telling me so I felt God leading me this way. I'm so thankful. It's been incredible.
Those friends. Those friends that I always pray for while we move? Well, in Georgia they all came to me at once. Shortly after moving and I rarely felt lonely even when missing family at times. When we moved to Texas? I waited. AND waited. Turns out sometimes instead of waiting for a friend…you have to leave your house to find them. So I went one hot, humid day when my belly was huge, chasing after 3 small boys thinking how ridiculous I looked and how we should go back home. But then I felt God prompting me to talk to that woman at the end of the pool. the one with the same belly. And ya know what? She was having a GIRL too, due right when I was AND also didn't have any family in town. Pretty cool stuff because she has been the best friend to me in the last year. And ya know what else? Those other friends I was praying for? God brought them to my front door. with food. That's right. Never even knew us but they were willing to provide for our family. And even tho my friend circle in Texas is rather small. It's rich. It's more about quality than quantity, no? Over & over those women have blessed me.
I can't tell you how many times I've pulled up my blog to post something. I've never had a dream to be a writer, I've just always enjoyed keeping family updated. BUT, I haven't known what to say for months. Until God just recently laid it on my heart to write this out. This has been so beneficial for me to write it out and see God's hand working as I think into the recent past. But God has made it clear to me that this isn't just for me. Someone is needing a word. If it's anything I've learned it's just how much I could've died December 16, 2013 on Henry's 5th birthday. BUT. I didn't. He isn't finished with me yet. And unless it is your time to go, you aren't going anywhere no matter how bad things yet.
There is ALWAYS hope. I haven't always believed that, I haven't always seen that, but it is true. That doesn't mean my life is "easy" or even "clean" for that matter.
The days are still hard. This ulcerative colitis sucks. I wouldn't wish this on my worst enemy. But I have hope that it will go into remission. I have hope that while I'm eating whole foods, I am also healing my gut. And improving my health. It's already improved So so so much. I have hope that because someone shared their hopeful story of UC with diet, I will be a living testimony and can share for someone else to try it. AND WIN THE BATTLE. Because we are overcomers!
This quote was by far the greatest encouragement someone emailed to me after my second hospital stay. This spoke LIFE to me and continues to.
“God will not turn away from doing you good. He will keep on doing good. He doesn't do good to His children sometimes and bad to them other times. He keeps on doing good and He never will stop doing good for ten thousand ages of ages. When things are going bad that does not mean God has stopped doing good. It means He is shifting things around to get them in place for more good, if you will go on loving Him.”
― John Piper, Don't Waste Your Life
SO good, right?
I could go on and on and on. One verse that has kept me moving is, John 6:63, "It is the Spirit who gives life; the flesh profits nothing; the words that I have spoken to you are spirit and are life." LIFE. LIFE. LIFE. Think on that word. The devil can't speak LIFE. he speaks LIES. Lean into the only one true God that gives LIFE….abundantly!
I have hope that even tho that "break" I keep trying to get around here isn't coming…it doesn't mean that it won't. Someday my hubby & I will sneak away for a few days without kiddos. But for now He gives me everything I need for today. Even to rebuke those piles of laundry and dirty dishes in the sink that try to tell me I don't have it all together. Because I don't have it all together and I never will. That point A to point B mentality I love to live by, just won't do. It's a journey and if I hold my breath until the storm passes over, I will have passed out and missed little blessings along the way.
So if you feel like you need a break…stop what you are doing and talk to God about it. Then come on over to my toy filled, dusty, laundry piles everywhere home with your kiddos. I will not judge if they happen to be wearing the same clothes for the second day in a row, didn't get their bath last night and oh yeah, would you like something to eat? I can offer you chicken, salmon, green, beans, sweet potatoes and a banana! :)
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